I think shortly before our wedding I was having a conversation with my mother and I am sure it had something to do with us getting married and being relocated in 6 months from K.C. to Maine. Somewhere in that conversation I had this wonderful insight and said to her, "Mom, not only am I marrying him, I am marrying the Navy and part of that is to accept what he does and where he has to go." or some bullshit to that affect. 10 years into it I believe no truer words have ever been spoken by me other than my vows.
On day three of our marriage we were enjoying a sleep in. As we were getting up the babysitter called and asked what was going on. We expressed our cluelessness, turned on the TV, and moments later the 2nd tower was hit. We sat there in disbelief; immediately he knew. He knew this was big, he threw in a VCR tape, and just hit record. Then the calls started coming in and the news of the other planes were reported.
I remember getting upset because we were supposed to drive to Leavenworth, KS to get my military ID. And my new husband had to explain it to me, I had no idea, not only were NY, DC, and PA affected, but all the bases would be on lock down and until we knew more of what was going on we were not going anywhere.
One of the calls was from his command as he was the RINC of a small Recruiting Office, get your recruiters out of the office, out of uniform, do not drive the Gov cars anywhere. Stay low. Nobody knew if there was more to come or if military personnel in general would be targeted. Fortunately, since he was recruiting and not attached to a base we didn't have base decals on our cars.
I know we spent all day in front of the TV, not able to look away, waiting for more news. I don't really have much of a memory of the rest of the day or the next. What I do remember is how quiet it was, no planes and no helicopters flying over the house. It was eerie.
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| The KC Star from 9/12/01 |
Then on Thursday back to work at the hospital pharmacy. It didn't even dawn on me until I reported to work what all it affected. We had patients with surgery delays and such because we couldn't get the medications. Most suppliers would Fed-Ex or UPS and without planes they were stuck. My own manager has been in Canada at a conference and couldn't get home. Couldn't fly and the borders were shut down. Wow ~ how does this happen?
His office voice mail had been full and few kooks saying we got what coming to us, but more so were messages from Vets who said they would gladly go fight for this, but were unable because they were long since retired. A few people who wanted to enlist right away and some messages were total redneck and all for vigilante justice. It was heart felt and shocking all at the same time.
Our son was 17 months old when this happened. He doesn't remember it. He has seen the news footage, but lets think about what it means for him and his generation. All they know is war. Our country has been at war as long as he can remember. Because of these wars his Dad has been deployed numerous times. Recession, recession, recession. Playstation 2,3, X-box 360, Wii, Ipod, Ipad, everyone has a computer and a cell phone now. How much has changed and how quickly can it be taken away?
When I really think about it I think of all the innocence lost. All the families torn apart.
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| This is the names of the 5000 serrvice member who died as of June 29, 2009 Navy Times |
And then I feel guilty as well, this didn't get me or my family. And since we weren't personally affected am I allowed to tread on their sorrow and their grievance? My answer to that is that I am allowed ~ As an American, I have earned the right to help support my fellow citizens and I can take the time and the heartache that comes with it. Just because we didn't personally lose anyone on that day, it has affected us. The 2 wars that have been constant since the numerous deployments, chasing Al Queda, all the military lives affected. All the children who have gone without their parents for extended amounts of time or will never see them again. All the mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, or just friends who will never see their loved ones again.
Everybody remembers where they were when they heard the news, we all have a story. Part of grieving is to connect with others who have shared similar experiences. It helps us to know we are not alone. I don't want to forget this, I don't want to forgive those who have caused this, and I don't want to forget those who have helped us and those who who gave us their all.
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| Flag flown on the USS Kittyhawk |
Here's a thank you to all. To the Police Departments, Fire Fighters, and the citizens. And a thank you to our troops that are fighting to keep this from happening to us again and to keep others from harm as well.
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