Week 1 & 2

There comes a time you must get back on the horse. My thought was to start small with my buddy Jillian Michaels "Making the Cut" book. I love her exercises and food ideas. Most things I already have, free weights, workout bench, and body ball. This is why I like her. I didn't have to buy a lot of stuff. Now if you follow her diet it can get complicated to find the right stuff in your area and some of it is expensive. But I am not following it this time. at least not yet.
Also started an intermediate 5 k program, I like to run, but I don't think I am good at it. A little schedule workout help can't be bad.
Now in order for me to be consistent I had to put it on the google calendar. I print it out monthly and it is on the fridge for a daily reminder I also get email reminders. That way I wouldn't get confused, couldn't cheat, and felt a little more pressure to complete this.
I also started a journal (good old pen and paper) and a food journal.
August 18th-
Monday- Day 1- I have to do this. I can do this- now get off your ass and get started !! Took all mandatory measurements and are ready to go. Even did day one workout. Can do without the squats :)

Tues- Day 2- woke up in the middle of the night with hamstring pain. Can you imagine your hamstring seizing up and you are trying to sit on the toilet in the middle of the night? UGH!! Took 2 ibuprofen and went back to a restless sleep. Started the run program today. Felt like I couldn't get a good rhythm. The program was run a lap fast and fast walk a lap. Sweat a lot, humid morning. Did day 2 of Jillian, because of hamstring couldn't do the lunges; oh too bad.

Wed- Day 3- HOT AS HELL! The program was 2 miles today, didn't know if it was the heat or my body adjusting. Thankfully no Jillian today. My hamstring still hurts.

Thursday- Day 4- Up at 6 to be with my good friend Jillian today. Didn't sleep well with the heat and the a/c being out. Thought if I go it really cold in the room, then turned off the loud window unit, the coolness would last. Guess I thought wrong. Completed my time with Jillian, even took Blitz for a walk. Can still feel my hamstring. I was supposed to do a 30 minute tempo, due to our schedule today and the heat, couldn't work it in.

Friday- Day 5- UGH! Schedule Hell!! Can't take Buddy to his last day of camp as a/c guys should be here. Defiantly waited for them to install the new unit before I completed my date with Jillian. Workout went really quick. I am so glad I have the weekend off from her, but I still have to run over the weekend. Tomorrow is five miles. I will have to get up early to hit the track before the heat hits. Oh the sacrifices we make. Maybe I can sleep in on Sunday.

Saturday- Day 6- Started the morning off with a five mile run. Wasn't pretty, but I did it. Average rate was under 13 minutes per mile. And talk about HOT! I had said we would go at 6:30, but we didn't get out until 7:30. Don't know how bad it was while I was running, but its supposed to be 98 with a heat index of 115. Going to rest for a few minutes, then off to swim. Okay- swim not a good idea. Pool was packed and it was 94 degrees in the water. Not my idea of cooling off.

Sunday- Day 7- One week and I have made it! I skipped one workout this week (the 30 minute tempo on Thursday). This morning was Jillian free, but a 30 minute EZ was scheduled. It was a bit difficult. Again, the heat is a huge factor. I went the neighborhood route today, it was difficult not to give into my old predetermined visual stops and just go by the time. I will have to work on that. Also took measurements today- have lost a total of 4 inches. Not a bad first week. Still need to work on food and alcohol intake. Time to get move-n-groove-n.

Week 1
Day	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Assignment	REST	3 X 400	2 mile	30 min tempo	REST	5 mile Run	30 min EZ
Distance		2.96	2.12			5.33	2.61
Time		0:37:21	0:25:15	0:00:00	0:00:00	1:08:08	0:31:38
Avg		0:12:38	0:11:53	0:00:00	0:00:00	0:12:46	0:12:08
Calorie		327	368	0	0	605	295
mile 1		0:12:15	0:11:24			0:11:53	0:11:39
mile 2		0:12:15	0:12:07			0:10:33	0:11:44
mile 3		0:13:24	0:14:07			0:13:17	0:13:34
mile 4						0:12:53
mile 5
mile 6						0:17:27
mile 7

Monday- Day 8- Jillian you offered up evil things like scorpion push ups (they are so deadly I chose to stay away from them) and squat thrusts (great with a hamstring almost mended). But I made it through, well 95% anyway. And back to refrigerator problems (does life ever stop happening?)

Tuesday- Day 9- Slept in until 7- isn't it funny that 7 am is getting to be sleeping in again. Maybe it seems so, because it puts me so far behind. It takes 3 hours to complete the morning routine. 1/2 hour to wake up and coffee, 1/2 hour to walk the dog, 10 minutes to drive to the track, 35 minutes to run, 10 minutes back to the house, 30-45 minutes to be abused by Jillian. Also looked at last weeks comparison. Today was 4 X 400, didn't feel there was a lot of improvement over last week. Maybe I am not pushing hard enough? Had to skip some Jillian torture as I didn't have all the equipment, did some of my own alternatives. (Cable work and hamstring stuff) Really, I am sure its okay and I won't lose any sleep over it.

Wednesday- Day 10- Run 2 miles- I did improve from last week. I went farther and improved average rate by almost a minute. Took the kid again, had him walk the track while I did my workout. It's good for him. Thankfully no Jillian torture today. WHOO and finally filed my 2009 California taxes (hate those things)

Thursday- Day 11- Just Jillian today. Man can she make you sweat. I was happy not to run as the heat has continued to this week. Today was 30 minutes of tempo, we went to the pool to swim. It's not easy to swim "laps" in a public pool without lanes and for 30 minutes. I am sure I didn't push myself at all. Did have wine tonight, only until 8 pm, have to fast for the blood draw. Fuck'em, red wine helps with antioxidants, right?

Friday- Day 12- We will call today the diet demise day. Whole schedule thrown off today. Had to fast and get blood drawn this morning. That leaves me to Panera temptation. Why yes I will have a latte, spinach souffle, and a cobblestone muffin (and one of those muffins to go for my son). Completed Jillian and washed the car in the heat. I must be thinking about the plan as I didn't have wine tonight knowing my run in the morning will suck worse with alcohol.

Saturday- Day 13- Completed 5 mile run, then abused myself with a big as your plate San Jose Burrito covered in cheese with a big beer for lunch. Put me in a food coma- enough that I found a MASH marathon on. Compared stats to last weeks run- feeling pretty good about my time. Shaved almost 9 minutes off. Tonight had 2 glasses of wine and just didn't want anymore, either drinking alone doesn't thrill me or I am just done for awhile. Please don't think I didn't make up for my lack of alcohol with homemade brownies and milk. Sometimes self sabotage is the worst.

Sunday- Day 14- Did the 35 minute EZ (was only supposed to be 30, guess I got a bit overzealous.) Was happy with progress over last weeks time. Did measurements, no big surprise there wasn't a big change as my diet was shit since Friday..maybe it wasn't all self sabotage, can I blame some of it on Miss Auntie visiting next week and retaining water? Sounds good to me. Made it thru 2 weeks!! That is good. It hasn't been perfect, but that's okay. Its a start. The dilemma- have 3 glasses of wine left in the bottle and will be gone next week. What am I talking about dilemma? Drink it and be done :)

Week 2
Day	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Assignment	REST	4 X 400	2 mile	30 min tempo	REST	5 mile Run	30 min EZ
Distance		3	2.45	swim		5.53	3.17
Time		0:37:52	0:27:13	0:35:00	0:00:00	0:59:28	0:35:47
Avg		0:12:36	0:11:06	0:00:00	0:00:00	0:10:46	0:11:18
Calorie		334	286			670	390
mile 1		0:12:19	0:11:18			0:11:02	0:11:48
mile 2		0:12:40	0:09:56			0:09:40	0:10:26
mile 3		0:12:50	0:13:14			0:10:04	0:10:09
mile 4		0:15:17				0:11:13	0:17:06
mile 5						0:11:17
mile 6						0:11:48
mile 7

Decided to get myself further organized. Daily I pencil in my progress on the calendar and last week I put the descriptions in the google calendar. Going with the theory that I can look back on it later. Well, you know me. What better to do than to design a spreadsheet. So far I only have a chart and data entry. I will figure out the comparison sheet later. This works great with the stats that are saved on Runkeeper.com (iphone app). Did you know the run program I am on is 8 weeks? WTH? What was I thinking? Since I got thru the last 2 weeks I decided to plan the next run and workout program. Entered everything into Gmail calendar. Even color coded the workout days- green for Jillian and Purple for run. Hope this over zealousness doesn't kick me in the ass later. It looks good on paper. One thing lead to another.  The kid's school calendar went into gmail (color blue). The next program after Jillian is PX90. Did you know the 90 stands for 90 days? Fuck, really? Well that puts it right about the time my boyfriend comes home :)
Here is my gripe- I watched all the tutorials and I feel like I was getting pumped to BUY all this stuff. You have to have a yoga mat $30, B Line resistant bands $30, Yoga Blocks $20, PX 90 recovery drink (28 days supply) $45, protein bar (12) $24, beach body whey protein ETC. you get the point. Not only do you spend XXX amount on the DVD system, but you can easily blow through hundreds of dollars. Its kind of like drilling a well, the 1st inch is the most expensive. I understand that this is an investment in my future, my health, my body, but buy the time I buy this stuff I can't afford regular groceries. Which to be honest I haven't checked out the diet plan much yet. I understand its a life style change, however somethings in order to be successful you have to ease into.
Gripe #2- I happen to have extra time right now, but in my normal life I don't have time to invest 1-1.5 hours per day. Its just not feasible. When you are up at 5 out the door by 6:15, home by 6:30. Dinner, time with the family and to bed at 9:00. Not to mention child or husband needs, it can get real complicated REAL FAST. Not to mention if you follow a diet plan you have to spend extra time doing menus, shopping, preparing. It's not easy. Minus the wild food weekend and an occasional splurge during the week, I think we eat fairly healthy. I try to buy more natural and even organic products. We cook a lot at home, we love green stuff like spinach and broccoli, eat a ton of fresh fruits, don't use fake sugar (shit will cause cancer), don't use margarine (one chemical compound away from plastic), don't use fabric softener (talk about toxic chemicals absorbed into your skin everyday, all day) don't use a lot of salt (use a little sea salt if anything) We hardly ever eat chips, have soda, might eat fast food like McDonald's once a month (then its normally Wendy's). And we do eat out once a week at the Ruddy Duck.  They have excellent beer.  I have looked at the 100 day food challenge (to get away from processed food) however, who has time to read every label and understand them all? I will slowly work on it, but it's not an overnight change.
With as complicated as is it no wonder we are an obese fast food eating nation. There are days when it's just too much. Whip through the drive thru and call it done. But sometimes we have to stop and start looking at what we are doing. I have one body and one life. I certainly don't want to line Colonel Sanders pockets with my money and then need doctors. I don't have all the answers, I am just looking for a simpler way for myself and family oh yeah it also has to be affordable and convenient.
Talk about convenient, lets see how next week goes with us being out of town...

Over the HUMP

There is so much awkwardness in everyday life.  I know that people mean well, (hold on I am in this category as well) but please think before you speak. 
I understand my husband's profession is very different from what you are familiar with, but please do not think you know what our lives are like just because you have seen "Army Wives".  Now I am a fan of this show, sometimes it hits home with a dead ringer, other times it is so far off base (no pun intended).  I sometimes watch it to help me deal with my current situations, other times I watch it because those women have true friendships.  Okay TV friendships that are scripted and acted out accordingly, but it makes me think of my own friends and how individual they are and how I wouldn't trade them for anything, unfortunately they are also so spread out I don't get to see them and sometimes just finding time to call them is difficult.  The important thing is they accept me for me and I accept them as well. 
Anyway back to the original thought. 
Sometimes I wish I could just lie about what my husband does. 

Sometimes I do.  (Depending on if they have had a chance to see the base sticker on my car or my dependent ID).  Someone will ask what does your husband do.  Oh he's an electrician.  (that's not a lie he IS).  Other people are just down right nosy and full of assumptions.  ASS-U-ME.  Yes, my husband has been in for XX amount of years and yes his rank is _-_.  Why does that matter to you?   Did I ask if your husband was the VP of company Z?  No I did not. Why?  Because you are a total stranger.  I don't know you from Adam.  I don't think you need to know if my husband is deployed, you could be a freak who is stalking me and try to break in.  Although if you are- I would seriously recommend not; as I can kill you or will try to. 

And if for some reason I do share some personal information with you, please do not have the following things to say. 

Me: Yes, he is currently in XX foreign country
Stranger or semi-known associate: That's awful.  He's not on the front line, is he?  (Seriously?  this is not the fucking civil war we are not lined up across from each other or is just that he's deployed not good enough for you to give me empathy must he also be in a combat zone)
Me: (Smiles from previous thought) No, he is on a base
S-O-SKA: Oh well then, he's safe.  (Really? Do you not see where suicide bombers get in?)

S-O-SKA: My (nephew,cousin, sister, brother asshole kin) is or was there. 
Me: I am sorry, hopefully their time to come home is soon. 

S-O-SKA:  How does your child handle it?
Me: (really? How the hell do you think he handles it?  His Dad misses his everyday life, games, awards, and just time hanging out.)  Oh you know him and I; we hang out and make sure that even with Dad gone we still stay busy and connected. 
S-O-SKA: here's one of my favorites "they must be used to it by now"
Me: Yeah, we get into our own groove and ride it out.  (does anyone EVER get used to deployment?  The stress that builds leading up to it?  The pile of things in the corner of the room that are "for deployment (the new socks, t-shirts (cotton only no synthetics in case.they catch fire it can adhere to the skin) cliff bars and magazines for the plane ride. The greeting card that is always hidden somewhere in the go bag for him to find once he gets there.  The thought of knowing you are going to be separated for however long and that's just how it is. 

S-O-SKA: how long will he be gone?
Me: (Using current schedule) 6 months-
S-O-SKA: That's not bad at all, he'll be back before you know it. 
OR
S-O-SKA: But he will miss the summer or its nice he will be home just before Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Me: yeah, that's the way it is (thanks asshat, like I wasn't able to figure out a calendar on my own and see all that will be missed.  Fucking appreciate it.  Miss Christmas?  Chalk that one to an average of every other year, along with birthdays, anniversary and don't forget JUST EVERYDAY!~  Every day that you just may need someone to pick up milk (or in our case beer or wine), someone to flush while you are in the shower, make your coffee, an adult human that you get to see everyday and talk to, that can keep you from letting life get to you.)
OR
S-O-SKA: I don't know how you do it, I never could
Me:  It's what we do.  (I get up everyday and have to put on my big girl panties.  Why couldn't you?  Is there something wrong with my marriage or life that you think is wrong?  Yeah, we love this life and being separated is the only way we will make it. We know that sometimes being separated puts things in a different perspective and we have a different life and its okay, so yes its what we do.) 

Sometimes the conversations aren't this bad and sometimes they are worse.  Sometimes I just wish people would recognize it, be simple and move on. 

Me: Yes, my husband is active duty.
S-O-SKA:  I hope he is well.  Thank him and thank you I am sure it isn't easy. 

That's true.  The only easy day was yesterday.

I remember my newbie days on the first deployment at a ESG meeting and a wife was like this is my 7th one.  And I had total admiration.  I still couldn't say his name without tearing up.  Their advice, it doesn't get easier- you just learn new ways to cope.  Then they gave us all the deployment bag-

Quarter - so you are never broke
Eraser: A reminder that we all make mistakes, but we can wipe the slate clean.
Marble: To keep you rolling along.
Rubber Band: To keep you bouncing back and flexible.
Candle: To light up the darkness.
Tissue: For drying your tears.
Toothpick: To pick out the good in others including yourself.
Cotton Ball: For the rough roads ahead.
Confetti: To add some sparkle to your life. (this kind of fell out over the years and was left in various places)
Lifesaver: To remind you of the many times others need your help and you need theirs. 
Paper Clip: To hold everything together when it falls apart. 
Skittles - in case it rains, you can provide your own rainbow
Battery - so you can keep going and going and going and going (and if you need to replenish your personal stock)
Gum - to remind everyone to stick together
Cotton Ball - to cushion those rough roads
(Please note all food items have been eaten..had to)

I often think about this when the times are feeling stressful and it helps.  I know many people go through this as I do.  Some handle it better than I do, others do not.  Some have it easier than I, some do not. 

Be certain, I love my husband, for right now that means sacrifices from him to serve, from me to be here at home, and from our child to accept our lives are different and grow on it.  I chose this life and as crazy as it is I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Might try to cash in on some of the bullshit, but that's another day...

Who are the Parents?

Everyday we interact with other people and when we do we are all guilty of judging them.  Here are the situations I am most critical on.  As we know child bearing is the only thing we do not have to pass a test on or get a certificate.  We all know if this were the case so much of this entertainment would be gone. 
When you enter the grocery store with your curtain climbers in tow; screaming at them to behave (it's when I am silent that my child has the most fear now) and "counting" isn't going to work. I would get to one and think "screw this, keep him on his toes and smack..oops mommy changed the rules didn't she?"  They are 3,4, or 5 years old, you have done this for years and it hasn't worked yet. Get a new plan, do not glare it me because I am looking at you the parent, wondering when you are going to realize your children are controlling you.
Do not bring your active children to eat at a business dinner and expect they will calmly sit there while you drink a few with the boys and other wives, especially if they don't calmly sit at home to eat without misbehaving. Once again do not glare at me because I now know your child's name (from you hollering at them over and over). Hell I understand the need for adult interaction and know how much you need out of the house. But when you don't even notice your two year old has made a beeline for the door all the way across the restaurant and the waitress chases him down. Yes I will laugh, it's damn funny. Once again your child runs your life. You need to take control of it.
Then you have the negotiators...where on earth do they learn this from? Parenting is not a democracy it is a dictatorship and unless what I ask/tell the child to do is going to seriously mame them, then my instructions should be followed.  No arguing, end of discussion. 
Don't forget about the parents who bribe their children. If you do this then I will do this. Once again who is the parent? Do we get to bribe our bosses to get what we want?  I think not. 
Don't get me wrong, aside from being married being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. None of us are perfect parents and everyday can be a struggle to provide the basic needs.  At some point I too have been guilty of some offenses.  I too have been laughed at by other parents and I am sure some of my  public appearances have been verbally passed on to others.  As others have laughed at me I will laugh at you.